British-Romanian relationships?

Romanian-British Relationships do not always work out. @ Bardia Photography

I am Romanian myself and I met a British guy, Henry, back in 1996. I was working for a non-profit association and he was one of the speakers invited to a conference organized by my association. I liked him and I wanted to know him better, but how to go about it? A Romanian girl would expect the male to make such an invitation. At the suggestion of one of my American colleagues, I invited him to lunch one day after the conference.

It worked and we went for lunch. He invited me out for a couple of evenings and then we spent one night together. The second morning I wanted to go home very early, but when I woke up, I found the Brit cooking breakfast. That was extremely impressive for me, as Romanian men would not even make a cup of coffee, let alone cooking breakfast for a date early in the morning. I thought he really felt special about me. So I stayed for breakfast and I felt obliged to stay longer, and longer. I ended up spending my entire weekend with the Brit, and then 3 more years of my life. Unfortunately, it did not work out.

Comparing notes later, I found out that it is perfectly customary for a young man in UK to cook for his one night stands in the morning, and rude not to. However, one would expect the date to leave immediately after breakfast and never return, unless phone numbers were exchanged etc. My staying over an entire weekend after the breakfast was so impressive for the Brit that he thought I really felt special about him.

Which formed the first link in our relationship. I have therefore met and spent years with one of my most special friends out of a complete cultural misunderstanding.

I am with a Romanian man right now. I am not sure whether my choice has anything to do with failing the cross cultural challenges that the other relationship was posing. However, here are a couple of observations why this one is working.

The former relationship did have an effect on the way I perceived life and relationships: the Brit helped me to become an entrepreneur and encouraged my independence and outgoing personality. Huge issues for Romanian men, let me tell you!! I could barely find a handful of friends that would put up with me afterwards.

First, the Romanian man is also an entrepreneur, which may justify why we ended up together. It did take us a couple of months to get over the differences that I had inherited, such as a no-screaming, no-quarrel, no-emotional-outburst policy in the house, feel-free-to-take-your-time-and-ignore-me policy, etc.

Second, the Romanian man is flexible and smart enough to use all the Western-flavored books and principles, adapt them and put them to use in the relationship. Books like “Why Women Can’t Read Maps etc.’ go fine with him and the discussions are very open.

Finally, the Romanian man has worked in international environments enough to change perspective and become more open to change, travel, new experience, than the average Romanian. He himself has been an expatriate in other countries a couple of time.

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