The poet Ovid has been rehabilitated

Publius Ovidius Naso

Publius Ovidius Naso has been rehabilitated more than 2,000 years after Augustus banished him to Romania. The Imperial scholar Quintilian considered him the last of the Latin love elegists.

He enjoyed enormous popularity, but, in one of the mysteries of literary history, was sent by Augustus into exile in 8 AD to Tomis, the ancient but remote Black Sea settlement now known as the Romanian port city of Constanța, where he remained until his death. Ovid himself attributes his exile to carmen et error, “a poem and a mistake”, but his discretion in discussing the causes has resulted in much speculation among scholars.

Rome city council approved a motion tabled by the populist M5S party to “repair the serious wrong” suffered by Ovid.

There might be problems next year at the heart of the Roman Empire due to the rise again of Berlusconi and the machinations of the Cinque Stelle and Liga Nord. This will please no end the inconsequential rump province, Britannia.

The latter, who have have a tribe called Brexitasaurus are forever wanting blood and celebrity circuses.
Just to confuse everyone the Romans called Ireland Hibernia as it was populated by the Scoti. Meanwhile (must consult my diary) Scotland was run by the unruly and slightly dishevelled Picts, who in turn were invaded by the Scoti.

Once the Romans could no longer afford the social welfare that the locals had graciously accepted the Britons were invaded by Angles, Saxons and Jutes. Then disregarding their fortnight tourist package the Normans came and conquered large parts of the island below and above the M25.

The irony of all this is that the Brits acquired a taste for conquest and eventually built the largest empire ever. So nice of them to invite themselves for tea and then try a permanent squat. Once the British were evicted some of the locals of the former British Empire decided to move to Britannia. Thus, arousing further commotion amongst the Brexitasaurus.

So both the Romans and the British ransacked the world. I think the Romans were more honest about their conquering mission. Besides when I was about 7.3333 years old I saw Ben Hur and the chariot race wins hands down to getting stuck in a perpetual traffic jam on so many roads of Britannia. The better ones built by the Romans.

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