From time to time, I get emails from people asking me to teach them Romanian. Most of the time, I wonder if they are asking me to teach them how to be Romanian or how to speak Romanian. By the time you are done reading and watching – you should be able to speak Romanian better than I do English.
That means you won’t speak Romanian , you will just make some weird sounds and pretend that you speak a foreign language, but with some linguist charity, you will get over it.
From my personal experience, it’s the latter. Most requests I get start with :
I have a Romanian boyfriend or a Romanian girlfriend.
Lucky you, I have a dog (not a real one ) and bills to pay (those are real). I must be your typical Romanian. Yes , to your question.
I sleep in the cupboard when I have panic attacks or too much sarmale.
I only come out from the cupboard to knock on the pipes, to let the neighbours know that I am still alive, before the authorities in white coats or the Tory party can take me away.
I’m doing well thou, considering that I have over 3k friends on the internet.
I have no idea who they are, except for my sister, who contacted me to let me know that she is unfriending me on Facebook and she is actively trying to guess my password in order to post a picture of me that could destroy my online reputation.
When I Googled : do I have a sister it turns out that I don’t. Sometimes I wonder if I trust Google too much. I don’t have a clue who that girl is.
A few months later, I’ve got a request via Yahoo mail to attend a wedding to the so called sister of mine after she said that I bad mouthed her at every opportunity, including on the internet. Google is always right.
If you still want me to teach you a personalised Romanian language, please do insist on that. Just don’t come back to me when you are single and you have no friends.
The 3k friends online that I mentioned are not real, I made them up and I don’t remember the password to unfriend myself.
See what happened to these two guys when they tried to sing in Romanian, the video cuts off before they jump out from the 2nd floor.
I can be weird sometimes but you can rely on me when it comes to smuggling cigarettes in – from Europe. I have a double personality that allows me to bring in 400 cigarettes instead of 200 and a medical certificate printed at home that shows a picture of a cat. It works, but don’t try it yourself because it is not my cat.
Lean back and watch this ( notice that I don’t use the word please )
Romanian idioms & expressions in English. The blank white screen is there to confuse you even more. U welcome