Learning Romanian

The pillock tried to learn Romanian

From time to time, I get emails from people asking me to teach them Romanian. Most of the time, I wonder if they are asking me to teach them how to be a Romanian, or how to speak Romanian.

From my personal experience, is the former , most requests I get, start with :

I have a Romanian boyfriend or a Romanian girlfriend.

Lucky you, I have a dog (not a real one – it’s a photo ) and bills to pay. I must be your typical Romanian. I sleep in the cupboard when I have panic attacks. I only come out from the cupboard to knock on the pipes, to let the neighbours know that I am still alive, before the authorities in white coats can take me away. I’m doing well thou, considering that I have over 3k friends on the internet.

I have no idea who they are, except for my sister, who contacted me to let me know that she is unfriending me on Facebook and she is actively trying to guess my password in order to post a picture of me that could destroy my online reputation.

If you still want me to teach you a personalised Romanian language, please do insist on that. Just don’t come back to me when you are single and have no friends. The 3k friends online are not real, I made them up, and I don’t remember the password to unfriend myself.


See what happened to these guys when they tried to sing in Romanian, the video cuts off before they jump from the 2nd floor.

I can be weird sometimes, but you can rely on me, when it comes to smuggling cigarettes in – from Europe.I have a double personality that allows to bring in 400 cigarettes instead of 200 and a medical certificate printed at home that shows a picture of cat. It works, but don’t try it yourself because its not my cat.

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